After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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