Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
