Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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