it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
