I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my being single is dangerous.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's always time for handjobs
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dicks are not precious.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
