i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
