I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
