I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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