Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize