i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
