No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
