I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
