K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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