lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
