dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize