i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
