You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
