I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
