Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
