yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
