are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
did i just pee glitter
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