After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
