if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dear god my vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
