Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize