WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
