no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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