The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
