i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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