its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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