She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
