I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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