U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
