I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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