the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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