we're chasing vodka with high fives
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize