he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
