sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
