i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize