Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
