Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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