I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
