Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
