I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
