we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
