I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
