Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
