I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize