The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
