Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
