Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
