yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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