im holly from the hills drunk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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