You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
