Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
