I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
