it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
