Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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