I smell stomach acid.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
