to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
