my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
