he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
