I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
