then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
