the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
