Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
