Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dicks are not precious.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize