You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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