Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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