i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize